indifferent

Found out something that i didnt want to again, sometimes i really wish i rather not find out, i would be much happier. But everytime i have a bad feeling, something is there for me to find out.

WHY? Do i really look like someone who is so easily cheated ? Do i look like a toy? or am i so easy to lie to ?

Time and time again,such things happen. Thye may find it tiring to be with me cos im like the PI always checking their stuff, but if they dont do it in the first place would i check ? would i be able to trust them ?

If someone has never done such things before , of cos it would be easier to trust the person.

I didnt know why i didnt feel angry at all, i always feel really agitated when this kinda things happen.

But not this time round, is it really true that i dont care anymore ?

Maybe it is. maybe im tired. tired of knowing whats gonna happen next, tired of being lied to /cheated on, right now, i will just be indifferent its easier this way.

I dont wanna care anymore, i wanna care about my own life now , not yours.

My life will revolve around myself from now on, nobody else.

Ive been stupid for way too many times.

not gonna let myself be treated like a toy again.

HIIIII

I know nobody will read this blog but oh well im still gonna post something.

things have been well and im happy about it ,hope it stays this way

WOW 2012 ALREADY.

Hi , IM BACK AFTER SO FUCKING LONG.

Pls try not to read my past posts cos i find them ZZZ =.=

actually I just need a space for me to fill up in case I store too much inside. lol.

It's a cold cold day , freezing in school. Feeling weird at the same time.

Sometimes I wonder, is it a good or bad thing to know the truth ?

the truth always hurts, but, is it better to know or be kept in the dark and find out only later ?

I'm a crazy paranoid insecure person,i admit.

And i always dig out information which isn't nice to know, but i still go and dig.

ITCHY HANDS LA. then everytime I find out sth , I feel confused. confused of what to do next.

Sometimes I scold myself for being sucha stalker or kpo. lol but thats me.

Right now i feel like im in my own world , blogging after so long,starving .

Talking about starving, Im extremely conscious of my looks and how people view me,

im not perfect. But im trying very hard !

Imagine an ugly fat bitch in secondary school lol.

When people comment about my outer appearance,i feel hurt somehow idk why .

I feel so useless ,financial accounting today, i thought i understand, end up im stumped when questions were thrown to me. I really dont wanna think about whether i will retake module anot,i deserve it somehow, but i guess im slow when it comes to math stuff.

Whats worse,i feel that i dont help other people as much as other people do, i havent achieved anything big in my life, I havent really helped someone ALOT, never done so many things.

Im a selfish,self centered asshole.

Im always so protective of myself , im always doubting everyone. I always think people do sth for a motive.

I think even when i die, nobody cries for me cos i deserve it.